I often find myself asking "what have we done to deserve this" or "I'm pregnant and we are about to have a baby, I don't need this stress" or "why can't we have what other people have, it's not fair". This is not a pretty side of me. This has definitely been a test of my faith. Which is strange because we have gone through some pretty big trials in our 4 1/2 years of marriage and for some reason this trial is bringing me down. Maybe because I'm pregnant so everything seems more dramatic. Looking at other people's blogs doesn't help me either.
But then I realized I had no room to complain or think my life is so horrible. I have a healthy little baby boy growing inside of me and my pregnancy has been great with no complications. Seriously, I should feel SO blessed, not so picked on. We have a roof over our heads, food to eat, cars to drive, and I do have a job. Things could be A LOT worse. I have a hard time with Heavenly Fathers "time line". I always want things to work out when I want them to. I need to work on being patient. I do know things will work out, I just wish they could work out a little more quickly. But instead of thinking "I'll be happy when..." I need to just be happy now! And it's not that I'm not happy, because I am. I just need to remember to be grateful for all the things we do have and not worry about what we don't have. We have each other and that is the most important. I love my husband dearly and all you need is Love, right?
I read this today on Nie Nie's blog. I cried. She is wonderful. I want to read her book so bad. I told Clark to buy it for me, but I fear that I will get it after the baby is here and either A. I won't have time to read it or B. I will neglect my poor baby to read. Listening to her talk and watching the little video gave me a lot of perspective. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself.
I'm sorry if you have heard me complain about various things that past few months. I have been a Debby Downer. I mostly feel bad for my family and my friend who I share an office with at work. She gets a lot of my complaining. We have therapy sessions with each other. It's fun.
I need to remember my cute little baby that is already so positive. He is giving the thumbs up so I guess that means everything is going to be fine.
6 comments:
I too have found that Heavenly Father's time line for me has not always been what I imagined it should be. What I have learned is things always work out, but never as planned. Hang in there and good luck. Holding your first new born child is one of life's best pleasures.
Laura,
I'm so excited for you and Clark to get that precious little baby here. I'm sorry things aren't working out exactly how you want right now. I've been in your boat before too- (desperately wanting J.D. to have a good job with benefits so I could stay home with my kids). I feel like I truly appreciate it all the more because I had to wait for that, maybe that's why we don't always get what we want exactly when we want it, who knows. I'm hopeful that your stresses will be over soon, and you can just focus on enjoying Henry.
Laura you are so cute! You look darling in your pictures. And even though you are not sure what your outcome is right now, you have a great attitude, amazing perspective and you are extremely generous. Your Henry is one lucky little boy.
Oh I freaking love you Lou. Thanks for looking at things in such a positive light. It helps me do the same. Have that baby already!
Things never work out the way I want them to either but I always just take a step back and say, everything will be ok and eventually it will work out and who knows...it might be better than you expected! Love you!
Every one else has said great things so I second them.
I love you and I love baby Henry already! A healthy baby is really all you can ask for and it will be wonderful holding him for the first time & every time after that.
Post a Comment