Perspective

So I will admit these last few months I have been feeling very sorry for myself.  It's quite embarrassing really, but I've been having a pity party.  My husband has been looking for jobs since about November with no luck.  Job hunting is the worst. I'm know I'm biased because he is my husband, but I just don't understand how he hasn't been offered a million jobs by now.  He is very smart and talented.  I try to be optimistic and give him encouragement, but it is a very discouraging process.  


I often find myself asking "what have we done to deserve this" or "I'm pregnant and we are about to have a baby, I don't need this stress" or "why can't we have what other people have, it's not fair".  This is not a pretty side of me. This has definitely been a test of my faith.  Which is strange because we have gone through some pretty big trials in our 4 1/2 years of marriage and for some reason this trial is bringing me down.  Maybe because I'm pregnant so everything seems more dramatic.  Looking at other people's blogs doesn't help me either.  


But then I realized I had no room to complain or think my life is so horrible.  I have a healthy little baby boy growing inside of me and my pregnancy has been great with no complications.  Seriously, I should feel SO blessed, not so picked on.  We have a roof over our heads, food to eat, cars to drive, and I do have a job.  Things could be A LOT worse.  I have a hard time with Heavenly Fathers "time line".  I always want things to work out when I want them to.  I need to work on being patient.  I do know things will work out, I just wish they could work out a little more quickly.  But instead of thinking "I'll be happy when..." I need to just be happy now!  And it's not that I'm not happy, because I am.  I just need to remember to be grateful for all the things we do have and not worry about what we don't have.  We have each other and that is the most important.  I love my husband dearly and all you need is Love, right?  


I read this today on Nie Nie's blog.  I cried.  She is wonderful.  I want to read her book so bad.  I told Clark to buy it for me, but I fear that I will get it after the baby is here and either A. I won't have time to read it or B. I will neglect my poor baby to read.  Listening to her talk and watching the little video gave me a lot of perspective.  I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. 


I'm sorry if you have heard me complain about various things that past few months.  I have been a Debby Downer.  I mostly feel bad for my family and my friend who I share an office with at work.  She gets a lot of my complaining.  We have therapy sessions with each other.  It's fun.  

I need to remember my cute little baby that is already so positive.  He is giving the thumbs up so I guess that means everything is going to be fine.  

Baby Shower Number 2

My wonderful Mother in law, my sister in laws, and Clark's aunt (do I call her my aunt in law?) threw me a baby shower on March 17th.  My turquoise cardigan counted as my green for St. Patty's day.  Here I am at 37 almost 38 weeks. 

My father in law and I were comparing our belly sizes.  He likes to tease :)

Owl party favors.

Just some of the cute decorations from the shower.  They really put a lot of work into decorating. 

Angie made Henry a little sign.  It works as a cute Easter decoration too.

My wonderful sister Allison that drove down from Logan!  I was happy she was there.  My mom and my other sisters are still wonderful but they were in California.  I guess my nephew's 3rd birthday was more important :)

My beautiful cousin Megan with her darling baby boy Rohan.  Isn't she just so photogenic!

Some family from my mom's side.  My aunt Sherrie, Grandma Allred and cousin Megan and sister Allison again.  We had to show the California people that we were having more fun then they were! 

My shower was combined with cute Erin.  She married Clark's cousin Wade, but I also knew her from the days of living in Hess Farms.  She is having a little girl Hadlee in April too!  I'm so happy for her and Wade, and can't wait to meet Hadlee.

The pregnant girls again.  This picture shows the other cute decorations.  Angie bought cute little clothes to hang on clothes wire along with some more cute owls she made.  

The lovely ladies who threw a really fun shower! 

Angie, Me, Carolyn, Kim, & Natalie

 I didn't get a picture of RaJean (Clark's aunt) but she also helped too.  It turned out to be really fun.  I always feel so guilty when people buy me gifts, but we really do appreciate all of it :)  

I only have 4 1/2 more days till my due date.... I should say "due week" since what baby really comes on the official due date.  Probably not mine since I'm not showing any progress at all.  Oh well I feel great so baby Henry can stay in a few more days.  I'm thinking April 2nd or April 4th would be great days to come.  I left out April 3rd because for some reason I don't really like odd numbers.  I know it's weird.  Plus April 4th is Clark's birthday and he would love to share his birthday wish his first born son.  That way they can do "manly" stuff together when Henry is older.  Weird to think I will be posting about a baby soon.  

*Also I just realized I said cute a lot in this post.  I don't want to try and think of synonyms to replace them.

Baby Shower

I had a baby shower on March 10th.  My sisters put a lot of work into my shower and I thought it was so much fun!  My cute cousin and aunt also made some yummy popcorn for a party favor that said "ready to Pop".  So cute!  

Decorations.  They made a cute banner that says "Henry".  I'm going to hang it in his nursery.  

Instead of "cool" shower games they decided that everyone would make a onesie for Henry.  They had a bunch of different sizes of onesies and then had fabric cut out in fun shapes like a giraffe, dinosaur, truck, star, octopus, fish, tree and rocket ship.  Everyone picked what they wanted and ironed it on.  Some added stitching around the outside or buttons.  They turned out so cute.  

Busy working on their onesie

Grandma and Emily working hard.  Emily was so cute to drive all the way from Springville and luckily she was the smart one who actually knew how to use the iron on paper and the fabric.  I was so happy she came!  We missed the rest of her family though.  Thanks Mary and Emily for the cute popcorn treat.  

Erin helping Polly iron on her shape

The delicious treats.  

So happy Carolyn and Angie made the drive.  Angie made a cute diaper cake for me and they spoiled me and Henry with cute clothes! Next Saturday these lovely ladies are throwing me another shower.  I'm so grateful for our wonderful families.  

My cute sisters Adrienne & Allison who threw the shower.  Thanks girls, I loved it! All your hard work was worth it.  My lovely Mom helped too :)

My mom made me take this picture.  She wouldn't let me leave until I took a picture like this.  She is silly.  Here I am almost 37 weeks in all my glory!

Rock-A-Bye Baby

The cradle is finished!  Baby H has a place to sleep whenever he decides to come.  This thing will rock him to sleep all night, it is so smooth.  My husband is talented!  

The cradle is made of African Mahogany and the two end panels are Ribbon Mahogany (that is why the grain looks striped).  This is one sturdy cradle.  It will be a family heirloom for sure.  

I had to put one of his little outfits in to get the full effect.  

 Elephant Book Shelf

I love these little guys so much!  Clark was able to make 3 out of the wood he bought and I secretly want to keep them all.  I can't decide on what color I want, they are all so cute.  I saw the original on pinterest and Clark looked at the picture and made his own.  He drew the blue print by hand then traced it onto the wood and cut it out with the band saw.  I don't think they could have turned out any better.  They are bigger than what the original size said.  That thing is made of solid wood.  It is legit. 

Chair Re-do

This is the chair we got at a yard sale in McCall ID.

And this is what we turned it into.  It is navy blue with green and navy fabric.  I think it turned out so cute.  Clark picked out the fabric so I thought a navy chair would look pretty cute.  As far as "nursery" colors go I didn't want a super matchy room.  I want gray and aqua colored crib bedding, but I didn't want everything to be just those colors.  We don't really have space to set up a nursery yet, so I'm not sure how it will all come together.  But I figure Henry will be in the cradle in our room for a few months so we have plenty of time to set up the nursery.  Clark is working on the crib right now.  

I'm officially 37 weeks!  This means the baby can come at anytime but I'm really hoping that he waits until April.  I just need the last 3 weeks to get everything ready.  I can't wait to meet the little dude! 

Love Month

February is almost over so I think I'm safe to blog about what we have been up to.  I am now 34 weeks pregnant!  Scary.  6+ more weeks to go.  I now have heart burn almost every day, even when I drink water sometimes.  My cousin said Milk is the only thing that helps her.  I ate an orange the other day and had major heart burn and I had some freshly squeezed lemonade from Chick-Fil-A and that gave me major heart burn.  I guess I have to stay away from citrus foods.  This is sad because I love oranges and lemonade.  My next doctor's appointment is March 1st and then I will have weekly appointments after that.  I'm sure those last 4 weeks will fly by.  I have a few baby showers coming up and I'm super excited for them!  I love my wonderful sisters (and sister in laws) that are planning some fun showers.  

34 weeks pregnant.  I can see that my face is starting to look swollen in these pictures.  Lovely.

Clark has applied for some more jobs and a summer internship with the SEC (Securities Exchange Commission).  We hope & pray he gets something soon.  Today is President's Day and to celebrate my day off of work we did a few little projects.  Clark has been working on an elephant bookshelf for me that I found on pinterest.  It turned out so adorable.  He made three and I want to keep them all!   When they are all finished I will post pictures.  He is in the garage spraying them right now.  We did a yellow, gray, and an aqua one.  

We also had this little wooden chair that we bought for cheap at a yard sale in McCall ID when we were up there this summer.  Remember when I met a real life bobcat?  Ya it was the crazy owner we bought the chair from.  So we sanded it and painted it and will make a new seat cover for it.  I will also post pictures when it is done.  It will probably be a chair for Henry's room eventually.  

My cute nephew Max turned 6 on February 9th.  I really can't believe he is 6. I wish he was this little again.

  

Now he is this big!  Which still isn't very big, he comes from small parents.  He is in Kindergarten and just as smart as can be.  And look how cute little Jack is too.  I love these boys.  

For Valentines Day we had heart shaped pizza and relaxed.  I loved it.  Since it was a work day I didn't want to try and go out anywhere.  Clark gave me a book called The Essential Book of Mormon Companion.  It is great!  We use it when we read our scriptures at night and it helps me to understand what is going on.  I gave Clark random little gifts like a pop up book about love bugs.  His mom has one and Clark loved it growing up, so I bought him one of his own.  

Our heart shaped pizza from Papa Murphy's.  It was delicious.

Pregnancy Thoughts

I haven't kept a journal consistently since probably Junior High.  And let's face it, my Junior High journal entries are ridiculous.  I have a few from High School and college and they aren't any better.  Every once and a while I go back and read old posts, so I feel like this can count as my journal.  I haven't been really good at writing details about this pregnancy and since its the first (and lets face it, you always do more for your first than the ones that come after) I'm going to write down a few thoughts.  

• I really love being pregnant (so far).  My first trimester I wasn't too sick and as long as I kept eating I felt fine.  I seriously had to eat every hour to hour and a half.  It was hard trying to find healthy things to eat, but I really liked fresh peaches and pears and it was a good thing they were in season.  Also PB&J sandwiches with my Grandma's homemade strawberry or raspberry jam was the best thing!  Once the second trimester hit, I never felt nauseous and I felt like I could be pregnant forever!  Now that I'm in my third trimester I am starting to feel the effects of the ever growing belly.  It is harder to move around and I can't bend over to put on my socks or pick things up off the ground without gasping for air after.  It's great.  My lower back hurts a lot, but I think that's also from working and when I have long days at work my feet kill too.  I have sciatic pain at random times like when I'm driving my car.  Something about the seat in my car makes my left side hurt bad! 
• I am one of those paranoid pregnant girls.  A girl I work with is due the same time as me, but this is her third pregnancy.  So of course she started feeling her baby kick early and would always ask me if I had felt the baby.  I hadn't felt him yet so I would panic that something was wrong.  Also, how are you really supposed to know with your first if you are actually feeling the baby or not.  People say it feels like gas bubbles, but it didn't really feel like that to me.  I felt like a flutter.  I don't know how to explain what a flutter feels like, but that's what I felt.  I think I started feeling him for sure around 20 weeks, especially when I was sitting at my computer desk and leaning over slightly.  
• Now that I feel him move all the time I love it.  Even when he is up in my ribs :)  I usually feel him when I'm at work or after I wake up in the middle of the night to go pee.  He is super active when I'm trying to fall back asleep at 3am!  I will tell Clark the baby is moving and as soon as he puts his hand on my stomach the baby stops.  He has felt him move, a few times.  No one else has though, since he seems to stop moving as soon as anyone touches my stomach.
• I think having a spring baby is the perfect thing.  I am pregnant during the winter so I can cover up with sweaters and hoodies.  Plus its cold outside so I don't get too hot, although I sweat a lot.  I know that sounds gross, but seriously I think pregnancy makes me sweaty.  Also April is the end of RSV season so I won't have to be super paranoid about that.  I learned in my birthing class that RSV is spread by hands so make sure people wash their hands before touching your little baby :)
• I never had any cravings.  I don't believe in pregnancy cravings except that if you have them, your body is telling you it needs something.  Of course certain things sounded better and certain things sounded disgusting, but I never really craved anything.  Fruit always sounds good to me and I used to love Broccoli, but now I have to choke it down.  Also Chicken Crescent Roll Ups always sound good to me.  I don't know what it is, but they are delicious!  
• It is stressful figuring out what you need for the baby.  There is A LOT of stuff out there, and I can't imagine such a small thing needing all of it.  What did they do back in the day without all of these things.  I'm trying to stay simple and only get things that are really necessary like a car seat and a stroller, stuff like that.  I really haven't purchased a lot, but we did order the car seat last week and it should be here on Monday!  Pretty exciting.  Now we can at least get Henry home from the hospital.  
• I'm not sure what baby Henry is doing inside my belly, but sometimes it feels like he is doing somersaults.  He doesn't kick a lot... they are more like rolls or just stretching when part of my stomach gets really hard and he is pushing using a hand or a foot.  The poor little guy is getting pretty squished I'm sure.  I read things that say you should count their kicks, but how do you count rolls?  I don't care how he moves, as long as he is moving! 
• Clark is awesome at being there for his pregnant wife.  I think going to that birthing class helped because we learned relaxation and pain relief techniques.  One of them is to get two tennis or racket balls and put them in a sock and have your husband give you a back massage with them.  It really is so nice at the end of the day.  Whenever I get up in the middle of the night he asks if I'm okay and he tells me I still look great even with a growing belly that seems to get bigger everyday.  
• Clark is building a cradle and crib for Henry and whatever children may follow years after him.  He chose to make it out of Mahogany and I think it will be the fanciest cradle and crib ever.  He is so funny about picking out the perfect hardware for the crib and he goes to Stork Landing (local baby store) about once a week to look at the cribs and figure things out.  It's really cute.  
• So these last few bullets have been about Clark, but I really do hope our baby looks just like him.  He was the cutest little boy ever!  I will love Henry no matter what, I just can't picture our little boy looking like me.  I picture a mini Clark.  I also hope he gets Clark's skills (athletic/soccer/skiing skills, handyman skills, academic skills, and his artistic skills).

I mean look how cute he is.  

I love those brown eyes.  I'm not sure I want Henry to be a thumb sucker though....

• I can't wait to see what our little guy is going to look like.  It is crazy to think he will be here in 8-ish weeks.  I say "ish" because I'm just expecting him to come late.  Maybe on Clark's birthday!  I don't feel prepared to bring a baby home for many reasons.... I kind of have pregnancy melt downs because of those reasons (like crying a lot and my poor husband doesn't know what to do with me).  It's not that I don't want him to be here, it is other annoyances like jobs and other stresses.  I would have it be April already if these other annoyances weren't in the way.  But no matter what we will have a little bundle of joy here and we are so excited to meet him! I really just want a healthy and happy baby boy!